Author: admin

I just robbed a grocery store. I’m going to Burning Man.
No, not really. I’m just paraphrasing the song by Dada, ‘I’m going to Disneyland’.
But I really am going to Burning Man, by damn. I got my ticket an everything. The ticket’s pretty.

Dude, you’re gonna have a horrible time. Yer gonna die. It’s an endurance run, yer too candy-assed an old for that kind of extreme shit.

I’m doin’ it. Hey, I’ve been in weirder places before. I was in Haight-Ashbury in the Summer of Love. I ended up sleeping in a borrowed sleeping bag under a bush in Golden Gate Park with a car thief from Chicago (not in the same bag, okay?).

That was 40 years ago. Yer a fossil. You’ll crumple up an die. Nobody’ll like you, these kids hate old fucking hippies.

Hey, I was never a hippie. I was a Freak, & remain so to this day. Hippies were those kids that showed up on weekends & we’d try to sell them bags of oregano for $10, which is what an ounce of pot went for then.

You went through the whole Summer of Love an never got laid. When fall came, you were still a virgin. That’s how lame you are.
But then I went up to Seattle with nothing but my guitar on my back, to be with my ladylove. Then I got laid! Then I went down to Venice to not be with her. I’ve got such stories! These kids today, they’re smart. They’re conscious of their culture & how it got there. Some of them are, anyway. They’ll sense my wonderfulness & love me. My stories will be my gift. I’m gonna live forever!

Those aren’t stories, they’re anecdotes. Nobody cares. The occasion will never come up when any of them will have the time or the inclination to sit still long enough to listen to you ramble on about what a loser you are.
But I’m a world-famous ‘underground’ cartoonist! I’m already an Art Hero!

But yer stuff sucks. And what have you done lately that’s even remotely cool?

Well, I did this great big mural on a wall in Roswell. Outer Space with lots of rocket ships & planets & asteroids…. It’s right on Main Street!

Facing the other way!

Well, it’s a zen thing that’s what makes it extra cool, right?

Sure, but nobody cares.

People come from other parts of the world and they take pictures of it.

Yeah, that & three & a half bucks or so will get you a latté.

Hey, I still got it. I’ll be okay.

No, you don’t. No you won’t. You’re so not prepared. It’s yer first time you don’t even know what the fuck yer doin’ & yer all by yerself. You got no one to depend on but you, & you suck! You have unrealistic expectations.

I know. Nothing ever turns out the way I think it’s going to. So if I think the plane is going to crash, well, then it isn’t, because… Anyway, I’m going to leave my expectations at the gate, just like they say to do.

But you have so many. You’ll never be able to let go of…
Oh, shut up!

I don’t have to.

For at least 5 years, probably much longer than that, I can’t remember when or where I first heard about BM, I’ve been (not) experiencing it from this side of a 17″ monitor. This year, now, soon, I’m going to climb through the looking glass and be on the other side. In it. Like the Grand Canyon: all the pictures you see of it, even a Circarama™ presentation in Disneyland™ are really nice, but don’t give you anything of the feeling you get when you’re standing on the edge of it, looking a mile down into the bottom of it & having it extending out from both sides of you farther than the eye can see, as the wind blows on you & all that. Not the same. I know that. I gotta do this. Even if it kills me. There are definitely worse ways to go. I’ll bet.

Yer a jerk. Yer gonna hate it. They’re just a bunch of rich assholes. Sticking their heads in the sand as the world goes to hell. Yer just gonna be perpetuating the idiocy.
Yeah, but there’s all this really cool art that I just have to see!

Yer gonna hate it. It’s gonna suck.
I know.

Here’s the piece AP did on the tchotchke trade in Roswell.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19637638/

Now it’s actually summer which means the UFO Festival is almost upon us.
Gotta get ready. Gotta stock up. Get shirts printed. Make stickers. Get more done on the mural on the wall outside. That’s what I’m doing right now at 2:00 in the morning. It’s too hot during the day.
Anyway, here’s the shirt art I did for Bob for the Roswell Runners club. It’s my response to the art the ’07 UFO Festival Committee is putting out as the main image for this year, meant to look like a pulp thriller paperback cover. I thought they were going for comic book cover which really pissed me off. So I did a real comic cover.

A couple of guys came into the store the other week. I happened to be down there in front with Sharon. Of the Roswell Space Center that is. Usually I’m in the back, which is Signs Of Life, upstairs in my hidey-hole designing or cutting vinyl or tripping on the internet or something.
Anyway, these two guys were from Associated Press. Tim Korte from Albuquerque was the reporter & he had a little notepad & a pencil, just like like in old black & white movies. The other fellow was the photographer, I didn’t get his card so I don’t remember his name. He had this totally kick-ass camera, a Canon that looked like a 5×7 SLR, but it was digital, of course, with this huge lens sticking out of the front of it. He had another one hanging behind his back it turned out. But of course.
So Mr. Korte gets us talking about the upcoming UFO festival that happens here on the 4th of July weekend (Sharon & I were on the UFO festival committee for 6 years, that’s a whole ‘nother story), the Roswell tourist trade, & the announced plan for a UFO themed amusement park here.
He’s doing 2 stories. He’s already done the one about the theme park.

  Link

The other will be about the festival & attendant tourist trade, it will happen later.

I made the front page of the Roswell paper, again.
It’s about the Snazzy Pig, which has been closed because the city council won’t let them have their beer & wine liquor license because they’re too close to a church (St. Peter’s Catholic) even though the church is okay with it.
I finally get to do almost everything for a new restaurant & it goes & bombs!
Oh well….

Here’s some other stuff I’ve done for Cattle Baron Restaurants: